Dear Mantan, Sorry to Call...

~~~What if after a long time since the time you broke up with your boyfriend, you didn't build any communication after even a word and because of a little carelessness, you have to call him. That happened to me.~~~

Here I am again with a story to tell,

When I am tired, I tend to lose focus. When I lose my focus, I tend to make mistake. My bad. I am an active person, have too many things to be taken care, 24 hours seem short.

This story occured because of that. 

That was a stupidity that I didn't notice which delivery address that I selected when I proceeded my order at Tokopedia. The package would be sent to the address that's not mine. But was to my ex's.

That ended I had to call him. Urrrrgghh....

It was just an impulsive decision to order two earphones from Tokopedia as the price was pretty cheap. Are you sure? Well, based on the review, it is reliable and if I could get a good stuff with that price, you can call me lucky, hihihi. But if I will get bad luck, let's just call it an experience. And the price of that experience is really some pennies and some quota and some time to order. lol.

How did I get there ?

Well, I have had several experiences ordering some stuffs online from marketplaces and sent the package right away to my ex's place (at that time was my boyfriend) and also to my friends' places. I found several delivery addresses in my Shoppee account, Bukalapak, and in Tokopedia. And in Tokopedia the delivery address was only my ex's.

Probably, that was my first shopping in Tokopedia back in 2014 or 2015  because I wanted to order something for him. I even forget what I ordered. No bother to check the history.

I buy online many times. For example clothes and shoes. Yes, I have good trust to some shops to order their  fashion products. And I order right away from their website.
While I can count with my hand fingers how many times I shopped from online market places. So, that Tokopedia's delivery address had been forgotten for years.

Back to the recent order that I made. I noticed my carelessness after I had secured the payment. And it was on Saturday. And I had got a notification that my packaged had been moved to the forwarder. I felt something wasn't right. I had moved to new office and a new lodge in 2018, but I remembered that I didn't enter new address in Tokopedia while checking my shopping out. So, to whose address would it be send ?

This time I bothered reading the detail. So I read the order description and found that I had clicked the only written address. I saw that when ordering but was not really conscious if that was not my own address. The fact that I had moved from my previous work and shelter. HUHUHU. Oh no.

In short, I had not deleted my ex's address from my delivery address list, and my package would be sent there. 

Whoaa.

Thank you, next....

I did't have idea what to do, I was occupied by other things on that weekend and I believed it would have arrived by Monday, the package was from Jakarta Barat  to Jakarta Barat. Means, I didn't have plenty time to call the JNE agent (I forgot that the JNE call center is 24 hours. I was busy. lol)

On the following Monday morning, I had not called JNE. I waited until I arrived office so I can use office's phone. lol. Meanwhile, I had to secure my package. I would text my ex first and tell him not to accept the package and then I would call JNE to keep it at JNE office so I could pick it up. 

So, I decided to bow down, to ask a favour to my EX because of my carelessness. I was okay to contact him, but I was not okay to face any dramas if any. I promised to make a short convo. If he would, thanks God, if he wouldn't, I would let it go, unfortunate me.

So, I picked up my phone, drafted a message and sent it right away and I was ready to fire up my Monday.

BUT, BUT, BUT...... jeng jeng jeeeeeng......
#soundsofbeatingcymbals

IT WAS UNDELIVERED. Whattt??? I tried again. again. again. and still failed. KYAAAAAAAA.........

Then I called his number, but the lady's voice on the other side said that the number was no longer active. I was confused. But he still got his WA active.

Why God, why should I do many things as I thought that I could have only SMSed him that's all.

*ComplainingtoGod*

The next, I opened my whatsapp and UNBLOCKED HIM first. Lalalalalala. Yes, I had blocked him just because I didn't want to see him appear on my Whatsapp story or whatever in Whatsapp.

Then, I called him.

GOD, YOU MADE ME CALLING HIM.

Relax, Dwi.....I promised I would be straightforward in the conversation. I told myself.

After few tones, the call was answered. "Hello...."

.....................Hello from the outside

                       At least I can say that I've tried

                       To tell you I'm sorry

                       For breaking your heart

                       But it don't matter, it clearly

                       Doesn't tear you apart anymooouwoouuuwww..............

*Enoughsinging😂*

I wasn't ready but ready to hear his voice. I talked as direct as I could.... 

The conversation was like this 

I mentioned my name, in case he had deleted my phone number and could not recognized the caller.

And I declared the reason why I called to assure him that I called not because I wanted to get back to him. But I carried a reason. 

His voice was JUST flat, I know he should give that flat cold tone to an exgirl who calls.

I said what I had to say. 

And I hated the rest. 

Me : Hallo, this is me Dwi, your ex, there is no special matter that I am calling you. I am just, I think my package will arrive at your place soon by today and you will be called by JNE. Sorry for the inconvenience but it was my carelessness. (I hated to show a bad situation of mine to him). Would you do me a favour?
Him : wait, wait, but I had moved from that address..
Me : I know. But I think JNE's agent will call first before handing it out.
Him : but that phone number is not active anymore..
Me : I know.. but sometimes the staff calls to WA too..
(His voice tone changed softer, with intonation, no more flat, knowing that I might be a woman he can trick with his words...)
Him : how do you know that my number died ?
(Hufff, do you think that I tried to call you  so I would know ?)
Me : I just called you and the operator said it.
Him : ooo I see...
Me : would you do me a favour ? (Tried to the point)
Him : wait, wait, is it your plan to call me or just a pure mistake of yours ?
Me : ya, it is my bad.
Him : hmm..
(His voice was more flirtatious)
Him : come on, don't call yourself saya-saya, that is so formal. We used to call each other bebeb feyih and bebeb uwihh... Hm ?

(Uuuhh, I rolled my eyes. I tried to manage myself, not to fall to his way)

Me : umm... How about if I change the last letter in bebeb with K? ( I still felt my feet on ground. It was just to give me time to think where we was going with that bebeb-bebeb)

Him : (thinking my words, silly jokes of mine) oohh.. so it becomes bebek. Hehehe. Bebek feyihh. Hehe boleh juga.
Me : would you do me a favour?
Him : what should I do ?
Me : if JNE's deliveryman calls you, please answer and tell him to take it back to office, I will call office and pick it by myself. (I surely dont want to leave him my current address). But if you mind, it is okay. I will let it go.
Him : chill... Do you still live in Pasar Minggu ?
Me : nope.
Him : do you still work at Fatmawati?
Me : nope.
Him : where are you now ?
(hmmm. He's trying to dig information. What did he want ? )
Me : in Jakarta.
Him : which Jakarta ?
Me : so you would help me or not ?
(What could I expect from an ext that had been a long time didn't communicate)
Him : do you still join in English club ?
(Oooo you stalked me so you knew? Me too, I stalked you sometimes, but I didnt bother to discuss anything about you )
Me : nope. I am busy with some other things.
Him :haaieoud skauwgslfhe (he kept talking and as I didn't want to fall to his words, I distanced my phone from my ear)

Then,
Me : umm sorry I gotta to go. If you could help me, I would be he happy. But if not, it is okay, no probs. Take care, bye.

~~~ Then I closed the phone~~~~

It was  10mins long. Much longer that what I had planned. Hufff...
.
.
.
.

5 seconds later, I received a Whatsapp text from him

"Whether it was a coincidence or planned,I was happy to hear you voice again"

I pressed the message, held, and chose to delete.

"I was not happy". I said by heart. 

.
.
.
.

1 day later.

I got an email from Tokopedia and said that my package had been successfully delivered. There was a name of recipient mentioned, that was his.

I HAD better to let it go.
.
.
.
A week passed by. I was drowned to my activity.
Then a got an SMS. Yes, an SMS.

" Hello, your package is with me. I wa-ed you but you didn't reply. If you want to pick up your package,  let we set an appointment".

Wow. Amajinng. Lol.
I waited until 6 hours to reply.

I said..
"Thank you for reaching me and letting me know if the package is with you.
I am sorry but I don't think I have time to make appointment to collect it. There are two head phones in it, you may take them or just toss them to the bin. I no longer need them anymore. Thank you."

Woww. Arrogance was detected. 

Yes, I chose to be arrogant, to show him that I am strong enough and would not fall to his way.

.

.

.

Readers, if you wonder what's on earth that I didn't manage any communication with him, aahh.. too long to be told. I will write a story for that.

****

Dear, God. What should I notice from this matter ? I am clueless. Why did he have to cross my path again eventho just a little ?

I promise to be more careful. I have learnt from this. If I have done mistakes on my relationship with him, if I hurt him or I hurt myself, if I was not mature enoughi, that I might be far from You, or even I forgot to thank you for all I have had, please forgive me.

But, what did You really want me to see? Please make it clearer...

***

Dear ex, I don't hate you that I was so arrogant on the text. I am still Dwi that some parts you have known. I have moved on long time ago, successfully. I hope you too.
Eventho we don't talk anymore, I have mentioned on my last email, I am doing my live, I am living my hobbies, I am happy here, and I am really loving myself.
I have become much better person since the day we said goodbye. I have found myself, have had a better relationship with myself, have opened many doors of opportunity, have talked to many people, have seen more corners of world,  have had certain higher level of maturity than I had when I was with you, I grow, have learnt and listened a lot than what you could think of I could, and more.

I also wish you living a better life too.
Let's what in the past sit there...

🌼

Thanks for reading.

Firstly drafted in March 2019.